Yacht Race Massacres Fifty

Fifty spectators to the Pre-Oscar Celebrity Yacht Race in Long Beach were accidentally killed last night when a Celebrity Cruise Line ship piloted by Tom Cruise grazed a Carnival Cruise Line ship piloted by Ted Cruz, and veered into the stands.  “The two ships were supposed to pass in the night, but kissed and pissed off each other,” harbormaster Eric Ericson reported to the Long Beach Tattler after hours phone desk.  “Please tell folks, if you must, that all the celebs involved in the incident are truly, truly safe, and that anybody who is anybody wishes to express their deepest condolences to those who are not. Like the Middle Class.”

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 http://TowerReview.com/Trillionaire.html

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