With attention spans dipping ever lower among Cyber Fiends and Selfie Narcissists (who have no message other than “look at me”), and since “only geeks and losers read” (according to narcissists who already know everything without having to), our culture has developed an entirely new vocabulary of symbols and acronyms so that one may communicate the appropriate reactions and/or responses to the visual images and one-liner news items flashed at them at giga speed, even while driving. Here are just a few…
For Those With No Time To Breathe
,!!!! = “Talk to the Hand”
*$ = Time for Starbucks
143 = I love you.
182 = I hate you.
2BZ4UQT = Too Busy for You, Cutey
4COL = For Crying Out Loud
53X? = Wanna have sex?
AFU = About f***ing time
AMF = Adios Mother F***er
BBOB = Bored Baby on Board
BEG = Big Evil Grin
Cof$ = Church of Scientology
DBD = Don’t be dumb
DNPMP = Damn near pissed my pants.
DTC = Deep Throaty Chuckle
DWWWI = Surfing the web while drunk
EWI = Emailing while intoxicated
FBOCD = Facebook Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
G2GLYS = Gotta go, love you so
GTGP = Got to go pee
H9 = Husband in room
HBASTD = Hitting bottom and starting to dig
IBK = Idiot behind keyboard
IHNC = I have no clue
IITYWYBMAD = If I tell you, will you buy me a drink?
ISH = Insert sarcasm here
JK = Just kidding
KPC = Keeping parents clueless
LABATYD = Life’s a bitch, and then you die
LGMAS = Lord, give me a sign
LONH = Lights on, nobody home
New, developed on a government grant:
RWPWLL = Remember when people wrote letters longhand?
SNOB = Selfie Narcissist On Board
QRTV = Question reality, especially on TV !
∞¢§•º¡§˚¬–•¶˙˜√¡œΩßƒµ¬Ω≈ç√∫˜ = Help Me, Am Having a Seizure!
TADCB = Take a Deep Cleansing Breath (before entering intersection.)
RMC = Rest my case.