Cyber Fiends

With attention spans dipping ever lower among Cyber Fiends and Selfie Narcissists (who have no message other than “look at me”), and since “only geeks and losers read” (according to narcissists who already know everything without having to), our culture has developed an entirely new vocabulary of symbols and acronyms so that one may communicate the appropriate reactions and/or responses to the visual images and one-liner news items flashed at them at giga speed, even while driving. Here are just a few…

For Those With No Time To Breathe
,!!!! = “Talk to the Hand”

*$ = Time for Starbucks

143 = I love you.

182 = I hate you.

2BZ4UQT = Too Busy for You, Cutey

4COL = For Crying Out Loud

53X? = Wanna have sex?

AFU = About f***ing time

AMF = Adios Mother F***er

BBOB = Bored Baby on Board

BEG = Big Evil Grin

Cof$ = Church of Scientology

DBD = Don’t be dumb

DNPMP = Damn near pissed my pants.

DTC = Deep Throaty Chuckle

DWWWI = Surfing the web while drunk

EWI = Emailing while intoxicated

FBOCD = Facebook Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

G2GLYS = Gotta go, love you so

GTGP = Got to go pee

H9 = Husband in room

HBASTD = Hitting bottom and starting to dig

IBK = Idiot behind keyboard

IHNC = I have no clue

IITYWYBMAD = If I tell you, will you buy me a drink?

ISH = Insert sarcasm here

JK = Just kidding

KPC = Keeping parents clueless

LABATYD = Life’s a bitch, and then you die

LGMAS = Lord, give me a sign

LONH = Lights on, nobody home

New, developed on a government grant:

RWPWLL = Remember when people wrote letters longhand?

SNOB = Selfie Narcissist On Board

QRTV = Question reality, especially on TV
!

∞¢§•º¡§˚¬–•¶˙˜√¡œΩ߃µ¬Ω≈ç√∫˜ = Help Me, Am Having a Seizure!
TADCB = Take a Deep Cleansing Breath (before entering intersection.)

RMC = Rest my case.

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